A very close friend of mine brought to my attention a very intimate reflection she'd had based on my last blog posting. This gave me pause and inspired me to thank all of you for reading this humble little spot on the interweb. You and I know full well that there are gobs and gobs of other ways that you could be spending your time, but that you take a moment to read these words and walk through the forest of my mind with me...well that touches my heart in more ways than you know. Here is a little thank-you gift to all of you.
Dear ones, lately I have been challenged to live in the moment, seize the day, and to "Bloom where I am Planted". I used to resent all of these sayings because I couldn't comprehend them.
How exactly can I live in the moment when there is so much still to be done?!
How was I supposed to be an effective person if I was living so much in the moment? How would anything get done?
How would dinner get on the table?
Do I really have to fly by the seat of my pants all the time?
What about that planner in me that likes to know what's coming next?
What about the obsessive yet dear spouse of mine that REALLY wants to know what is coming next and yet seems to be on a completely different plane with the whole "live in the moment" concept?...what about that?
What does 'bloom where you're planted' really MEAN?!
No one had an answer for me for any of these questions and if anyone took the time to talk to me about them, the only thing that I took away from the conversation was..."it'll happen for you eventually" or "don't worry about it right now, you have so much going on." While that is well and good, that STILL frustrated me even more since waiting for something to eventually happen still didn't help me to live in the moment because I judged I was looking forward to something and not living in the moment.
How exactly do you live in the moment when memories are constantly flurrying around you? Songs, books, words, smells, objects, things, people, cars, roads, SO very many things can conjure any kind of positive or negative memory that can take a person OUT of the moment at any moment and lead them off into nostalgia-land. Then at the same time, thoughts of the future or how things might be different, certain hopes, dreams, goals, aspirations, et cetera, can also take you out of the moment at any moment and your mind could wander. Then there's the every day duties that you MUST get done in order to stay hygenic...dishes, laundry, and personal feeding and washing, as well as any other family that might need help getting those things achieved. Some days can be full just doing those things...yet, how do we "bloom" in doing so?
All of these things frustrated me and thereby helped me to despise the little phrase "Bloom Where You're Planted" or "Carpe Diem"...how dare they suggest that to me when they couldn't fully explain it?! Sure, it seemed like a fine sentiment..."Yes! Carpe Diem, my boy!" (imagine that said in a 1940's high-pitched movie accent)...I even have a rubber wood-mounted stamp that makes the most beautiful "Bloom Where You're Planted" cards that I've given as gifts. But as many times as I've used that stamp, I resented it's message.
My resentment is/was a bi-product of my weaknesses...my own stupidity and lack of wisdom. The readings from a couple of weeks ago (find the readings at www.usccb.org for Nov 4, 2011) were extremely enlightening especially the second reading about Wisdom.
It got me thinking that the more we ask for wisdom, the more that wisdom will be given us. But definitely not in our time and definitely not when we expect it. All things in God's time and all things as He wishes. For those of you that choose not to believe in God, He is still in control, He's just given you the choice to choose Him or not. It's still your choice. That choice in itself involves wisdom...and risk. But I don't want to get too far off track by saying that by choosing not to love God, you are taking advantage of the free will that He has lovingly given you because He loves you. He loves you and He sees everything you do and He still loves you and forgives everything you do, even those things that do not bring Him glory. Just because you're choosing not to go to church or believe in Him, it doesn't make you better than anyone else and it doesn't make those that go to church any better than you. I just want to make that clear.
If church were meant for perfect people, it'd be an empty building.
Church is the BODY of Christ, Christ is the Head of the Church, Christ died for us, we are sinners, we are still sinners sitting in those pews. He comes down from Heaven to give Himself to us in The Holy Eucharist and give us His Grace to make it through in this crazy world.
It is through His Grace that we are given wisdom and through this wisdom that I have gained perspective on "Bloom Where You're Planted"...I'll enlighten you as best as I'm able.
To bloom where one is planted means that you simply need to work at being content where you are in life. Knowing that your choices have led you to this place can help. Knowing that you're only in control of YOU, your behaviors, your decisions, your body (most of the time), can also help you to bloom, to open up your petals, and be happy in the place where you are.
It helped me to remember what I learned many years ago in FAMILIA (Family Life In America - a Biblical and Encyclical study group for young mothers) that when we see our daily duties as offerings to God, that we are able to find peace and joy in those moments instead of seeing them as drudgery. Remembering this helps me to make the DECISION to be joyful, to offer up my frustrations, and to see the good in the things that I sometimes find mundane.
When things pop up that throw me off course, I really have to take a deep breath and pray. I have to do this a lot. I have to do this with my family and with things in life. But with each effort, I hope that it might become easier to do. Each time I take a deep breath and pray when times get hard or frustrating, I try to make the more charitable choice. I hope that you will too and that you can find the strength, as I am trying to, to bloom where you are planted.
God Loves YOU!
XOXO
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Busy Busy Busy!
Today was so full, I just have to mention it before I forget all of it.
-Breakfast
-Pumpkin Patch with my Mom
followed by the cutest pictures ever!
-Lunch (and coffee for adults) with Mom and kids
-home to find dead dove on the back porch
followed by tears from Angel Girl and comments from Tractor Boy, Danger didn't know what to think except that he didn't want to touch the dead bird.
-reporting our neighbors for noise disturbance (again)
-trying to squeeze homeschooling in but to no avail
-piano lessons
-NaNoWriMo prep (thoughts & synopsis)
-home, landlord trimming back a tree on the side of our house
-dinner
-mall visit to get my nails repaired with Angel Girl
-surprise nail painting for Angel Girl (great Girl time!)
-lite shopping trip
-Bath and Body works having a huge sale...stocked up on Vanilla Bean Noel.
-first time into Teavana (it has always been too busy before) and it really is some sort of tea Heaven. Can't wait to take hubby there! left with some lovely teas!
-home, busy busy busy...
Now dear friends, it's 1am and I am stopping all busy-ness and going to sleep.
It was a very full day.
The only thing on the agenda for tomorrow is homeschool and a library visit. :-)
Peace and warm fuzzy honk-shoo's to you!
-Breakfast
-Pumpkin Patch with my Mom
followed by the cutest pictures ever!
-Lunch (and coffee for adults) with Mom and kids
-home to find dead dove on the back porch
followed by tears from Angel Girl and comments from Tractor Boy, Danger didn't know what to think except that he didn't want to touch the dead bird.
-reporting our neighbors for noise disturbance (again)
-trying to squeeze homeschooling in but to no avail
-piano lessons
-NaNoWriMo prep (thoughts & synopsis)
-home, landlord trimming back a tree on the side of our house
-dinner
-mall visit to get my nails repaired with Angel Girl
-surprise nail painting for Angel Girl (great Girl time!)
-lite shopping trip
-Bath and Body works having a huge sale...stocked up on Vanilla Bean Noel.
-first time into Teavana (it has always been too busy before) and it really is some sort of tea Heaven. Can't wait to take hubby there! left with some lovely teas!
-home, busy busy busy...
Now dear friends, it's 1am and I am stopping all busy-ness and going to sleep.
It was a very full day.
The only thing on the agenda for tomorrow is homeschool and a library visit. :-)
Peace and warm fuzzy honk-shoo's to you!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Goals, Dreams, Control, & Joy
Friday night, my dear hubby and I had a great date, in which we had the opportunity to have a leisurely dinner at a local favorite restaurant followed by a one-hour discussion that was not rushed due to the need to get back to someone who was babysitting our kids. This is a new feeling for us. We didn't have any agenda or topics lined up to discuss, so we decided to talk about our personal goals and dreams, short and long term.
We were not always able to do this without criticism. But we tried. We tried to listen to each other without judging and to listen effectively because these were outpourings of inner sentiments.
I found it difficult to keep my mouth shut when listening to his dreams. I wanted to help him realize how he could make them a reality, when the essence of my listening should've been to truly hear what he was saying, because he needed me to hear it, and because I needed to know him more deeply.
Listening is not a selfish work. But good listening is work and takes practice. Listening should be selfLESS...I should listen so that I get to know the other person better and so that the other person feels comfortable to share things with me. I need to listen well because he needs me to listen to him. I need to listen well because that is how it should be and not so that he'll listen to me, but I do need to be listened to too. I want to be that kind of listener. Not a selfish listener. I need to work on myself NOT interrupting. I have a very bad habit of that, and if I've ever interrupted you, please forgive me, it is a character flaw from my youth that I am working on to this day. Pray for me as I work on this cross of mine.
Back to the goals and dreams...it has been a long time since we've shared these types of things with each other. So many times we are consumed with talking about the ministries we're involved with, or our vocation as parents, or our children and their activities, personalities, clashes, behaviors, etc., that we lose sight of how we need to nurture the intimacy between US. This is where we have created a divide of sorts and have fostered some of that "roommate" or "married singles" mentality in our household and marriage. By getting so caught up in the day-to-day, the details, we lost track of taking care of each other's souls, which is what we agreed to do when we got married nearly 13 years ago.
I believe sometimes that we got off on the wrong foot. We were immature and naive and starry-eyed and, I believe (at least for me), wore rose-colored glasses...I didn't want to admit that there was an ugly side to anything, especially marriage. I wanted to believe that I would get to spend a ton of time with my husband and that he would relish the opportunity to grow in closeness with me and that we would have this astounding unity that was inspiring to others. How selfish and conceited I was! I can see that now, but I couldn't see it then.
Now, almost a decade and a half later, we're taking steps to foster that unity better. We're taking more time for us. We're paying babysitters. We're working on intimacy, which is not always physical, but is spiritual and emotional. We're making the effort to continue getting to know each other.
Listening to my husband's goals and dreams was eye-opening for me. I learned things about him that I didn't know and that was refreshing. I had the opportunity to listen to him talk about his goals without thinking about what I would say when it was my turn.
I abhor goal-setting because I have always thought, if I set a goal and don't achieve it, then I've failed myself and if I've shared it with others, they know I'm a failure too. I have to stop this negative thinking pattern and Friday night's date was the first step in shirking that yucky attitude. After sharing my goals and dreams with my husband, I walked out of that restaurant feeling lighter, even though we had full tummies from a delicious meal! I shared things with him off-the-cuff, just the first goals and dreams that popped into my head, I blurted out things that I had only said to myself, and for the longest time had only held inside.
Some of my short term goals are to:
First and foremost, deepen my faith and grow closer to God.
Then work on:
1. continue blogging, I enjoy this and it's good for me to journal.
2. continue on my weight loss journey and getting in shape. I'm down several dress sizes and loving it. Have lots more to lose and more changes to see!
3. challenge myself with NaNoWriMo again next month and win.
check out for more info.
4. work on writing our Retrouvaille talks with hubby.
5. purge clutter and clean house.
6. read more.
7. do more creative things, sew, paint, draw, scrapbook, cross-stitch, etc.
8. continue working on myself and how I can be a better wife, mother, sister, & friend, and community member.
Long term...really to just continue the short-term ones as they will lead to long-term peace for me and help me to be more consistent.
Back to hubby, I want to help him achieve his goals and I want to not get in the way of him doing it himself. I don't want him to feel like he needs to depend on me to accomplish what is on his heart to do for himself. I don't want to be that codependent wife. I believe I have been her though these last few years. I believe I have enabled some negative behavior by being controlling.
On being controlling...it's quite the ambiguous beast in the room as I meet new women and get to know my friends better.
(and I believe a DISCLAIMER of some sort is necessary at this point...KNOW THIS, I am speaking here in generalizations and not about any one person...so NO, I am not referring to ANY of my friends or relatives as being super-controlling...instead, I am stating that we all are to some degree or another, and NO, I am not a doctor or psychologist/therapist, just an observant citizen. Thank you and on with the blog.)
I think that control is something that we all struggle with and some may have a better handle on it than others.
Some may be downright professional at it while others have trouble asserting it. Some don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying that they are uncomfortable with something then, after not asserting themselves, wish they had and feel angry with themselves.
Some bulldoze everyone in their wake with "their way" and have no remorse if someone felt pushed around by their behavior.
Some feel all these ways and don't show it.
Some feel many of these ways and wear different hats with different groups...I think that may be more than some, if not most...and some are only asserting control within their family unit and seem to just go with the flow outside of their home.
Some use their emotions to control others...
Some people say that they're not controlling and it's those that worry me the most because they think that they're not, but by not being controlling they are being passively controlling.
Yet on the flipside, we're told that we're supposed to be assertive women and not be doormats. So we're faced with this ambiguity about being controlling. To control, or not to control, and when to control, and how much, and will we be viewed as a witchy woman for doing so? It is too much.
I'm not even going to address how men are or are not controlling because I'm not a man and can't think like one, but can only make guesses based on what I know, but I believe that the above list could still apply to how men operate with control issues...except now that I think about it...it's probably much more difficult for men when it comes to control. Simply because of what the world tells us and the examples of control that are out there for men. No one wants a wimpy guy. Take David Schwimmer's character on "Friends" for example, wimpy and whiny Ross. He controlled everyone on that show with his Eeyore type behavior, emotional outbursts, and dysfunctional relationship with Rachel, and that was still controlling. There are far more examples of other characters that are the polar opposite of Ross and use control to exploit others and make others feel bad. It is hard for women AND for men.
It is often difficult for me to put a finger on which one way a person uses control to manipulate others. But because of many things that have happened in my past, I am acutely aware of this controlling nature of people. I judge that it's a protective mechanism in me that I have to constantly monitor. It's as if I have this invisible gauge for each person that registers the rpm's of control. I don't know if this falls under that umbrella of intuition or not, but it has only developed in the last 10 years for me. My meter is, however, especially sensitive if I'm around someone that I've been told is controlling. I have grown in awareness of this control issue in my life because while I was growing up I was completely unaware of how I was allowing myself to be controlled by others. Now in my mid-30's, I feel as though I'm more comfortable setting boundaries with others. But in my youth, adolescence, teenage years, & twenties, it was not that way. I had very few boundaries and prided myself on being open. I also had no respect for others' boundaries and most likely tap-danced and cartwheeled all over them. This is probably why I had very few close friends. If I did that to your boundaries, I am very sorry. Please forgive me.
It takes just a second to hurt someone's feelings. Please know that I'm really just doing a bit of stream-of-consciousness writing here about control. I'm not pointing my fingers at anyone. Especially YOU. In fact, when we point one finger, aren't there three pointing back at us? I am certain that the times when I attmept to control things, it is because I have seen how successful others have been at controlling me, and I want to see if I can work that way. I generally cannot operate successfully. Who wants to be controlled? I am pretty sure I fall in the middle, sometimes control-freak, other times I go with the flow. Sometimes I have a problem with authority...but that's for another blog.
You know, I was recently made aware of a saying... in every group there is a person that requires Extra Grace...and if you can't find that person in your group, then that person is YOU. I'm fairly certain I am/was the person, 9 times out of 10.
I don't want to control my hubby's dreams and goals, I wouldn't want him to do that to me. I hope on our next great date that we are able to discuss goals and dreams that are specific to our marriage and share deeply on that. I enjoyed this special time with my hubby. I look forward to learning more about him and watching our goals and dreams come to fruition.
I feel called to leave you with a scripture verse that is also the signature for my emails, "Consider it all joy" James 1:2. I love this verse so much because it is such a challenge for me. While I am generally an optimistic person, when hardships come my way, I am usually looking at them from the negative side first, then later, after they have been dealt with or fade away, I am reminded that I should've found the joy in them. Sometimes I'm able to say something like "well, at least it's not like ____________" (fill in the blank with something worse than what I have to deal with at the time) which is when I think "hey, I'm finding the joy in it by being thankful that it's not worse!"...but really, I think now that it's just glossing over the challenge and not really picking up that cross that I've been handed and really truly finding the JOY in it. The rest of "Consider it all joy..." is "when you encounter various trials because these tests help build perseverance." This is so true in our lives and should not be ignored. We weren't meant to just coast through life, but to find joy in the hardships, which is counter-cultural (against what the world wants us to believe)! So we should find JOY in the trials. Joy in the hardships. Joy in the pain. Joy in the pain? I challenge you to ponder that.
I believe that what St. James is telling us in this Scripture is that by finding the joy in the trials, hardships, and pain, that the perseverance it produces in us will help us to get through even more hardships that may come our way. None of us are immune to hardships and it seems that as we get older, we encounter more and more of them. I had a dear friend tell me recently not to waste the hardship I was enduring, but to offer it up as often as I could. This helped me to persevere through my pain. Even though I have "Consider it all joy" as my email signature, I still needed an outside reminder to help me to remember what I was telling others applied to me too. I will probably talk about this more. This Scripture is dear to me and has so many layers for my life story...
Peace to you this glorious day!
We were not always able to do this without criticism. But we tried. We tried to listen to each other without judging and to listen effectively because these were outpourings of inner sentiments.
I found it difficult to keep my mouth shut when listening to his dreams. I wanted to help him realize how he could make them a reality, when the essence of my listening should've been to truly hear what he was saying, because he needed me to hear it, and because I needed to know him more deeply.
Listening is not a selfish work. But good listening is work and takes practice. Listening should be selfLESS...I should listen so that I get to know the other person better and so that the other person feels comfortable to share things with me. I need to listen well because he needs me to listen to him. I need to listen well because that is how it should be and not so that he'll listen to me, but I do need to be listened to too. I want to be that kind of listener. Not a selfish listener. I need to work on myself NOT interrupting. I have a very bad habit of that, and if I've ever interrupted you, please forgive me, it is a character flaw from my youth that I am working on to this day. Pray for me as I work on this cross of mine.
Back to the goals and dreams...it has been a long time since we've shared these types of things with each other. So many times we are consumed with talking about the ministries we're involved with, or our vocation as parents, or our children and their activities, personalities, clashes, behaviors, etc., that we lose sight of how we need to nurture the intimacy between US. This is where we have created a divide of sorts and have fostered some of that "roommate" or "married singles" mentality in our household and marriage. By getting so caught up in the day-to-day, the details, we lost track of taking care of each other's souls, which is what we agreed to do when we got married nearly 13 years ago.
I believe sometimes that we got off on the wrong foot. We were immature and naive and starry-eyed and, I believe (at least for me), wore rose-colored glasses...I didn't want to admit that there was an ugly side to anything, especially marriage. I wanted to believe that I would get to spend a ton of time with my husband and that he would relish the opportunity to grow in closeness with me and that we would have this astounding unity that was inspiring to others. How selfish and conceited I was! I can see that now, but I couldn't see it then.
Now, almost a decade and a half later, we're taking steps to foster that unity better. We're taking more time for us. We're paying babysitters. We're working on intimacy, which is not always physical, but is spiritual and emotional. We're making the effort to continue getting to know each other.
Listening to my husband's goals and dreams was eye-opening for me. I learned things about him that I didn't know and that was refreshing. I had the opportunity to listen to him talk about his goals without thinking about what I would say when it was my turn.
I abhor goal-setting because I have always thought, if I set a goal and don't achieve it, then I've failed myself and if I've shared it with others, they know I'm a failure too. I have to stop this negative thinking pattern and Friday night's date was the first step in shirking that yucky attitude. After sharing my goals and dreams with my husband, I walked out of that restaurant feeling lighter, even though we had full tummies from a delicious meal! I shared things with him off-the-cuff, just the first goals and dreams that popped into my head, I blurted out things that I had only said to myself, and for the longest time had only held inside.
Some of my short term goals are to:
First and foremost, deepen my faith and grow closer to God.
Then work on:
1. continue blogging, I enjoy this and it's good for me to journal.
2. continue on my weight loss journey and getting in shape. I'm down several dress sizes and loving it. Have lots more to lose and more changes to see!
3. challenge myself with NaNoWriMo again next month and win.
check out for more info.
4. work on writing our Retrouvaille talks with hubby.
5. purge clutter and clean house.
6. read more.
7. do more creative things, sew, paint, draw, scrapbook, cross-stitch, etc.
8. continue working on myself and how I can be a better wife, mother, sister, & friend, and community member.
Long term...really to just continue the short-term ones as they will lead to long-term peace for me and help me to be more consistent.
Back to hubby, I want to help him achieve his goals and I want to not get in the way of him doing it himself. I don't want him to feel like he needs to depend on me to accomplish what is on his heart to do for himself. I don't want to be that codependent wife. I believe I have been her though these last few years. I believe I have enabled some negative behavior by being controlling.
On being controlling...it's quite the ambiguous beast in the room as I meet new women and get to know my friends better.
(and I believe a DISCLAIMER of some sort is necessary at this point...KNOW THIS, I am speaking here in generalizations and not about any one person...so NO, I am not referring to ANY of my friends or relatives as being super-controlling...instead, I am stating that we all are to some degree or another, and NO, I am not a doctor or psychologist/therapist, just an observant citizen. Thank you and on with the blog.)
I think that control is something that we all struggle with and some may have a better handle on it than others.
Some may be downright professional at it while others have trouble asserting it. Some don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying that they are uncomfortable with something then, after not asserting themselves, wish they had and feel angry with themselves.
Some bulldoze everyone in their wake with "their way" and have no remorse if someone felt pushed around by their behavior.
Some feel all these ways and don't show it.
Some feel many of these ways and wear different hats with different groups...I think that may be more than some, if not most...and some are only asserting control within their family unit and seem to just go with the flow outside of their home.
Some use their emotions to control others...
Some people say that they're not controlling and it's those that worry me the most because they think that they're not, but by not being controlling they are being passively controlling.
Yet on the flipside, we're told that we're supposed to be assertive women and not be doormats. So we're faced with this ambiguity about being controlling. To control, or not to control, and when to control, and how much, and will we be viewed as a witchy woman for doing so? It is too much.
I'm not even going to address how men are or are not controlling because I'm not a man and can't think like one, but can only make guesses based on what I know, but I believe that the above list could still apply to how men operate with control issues...except now that I think about it...it's probably much more difficult for men when it comes to control. Simply because of what the world tells us and the examples of control that are out there for men. No one wants a wimpy guy. Take David Schwimmer's character on "Friends" for example, wimpy and whiny Ross. He controlled everyone on that show with his Eeyore type behavior, emotional outbursts, and dysfunctional relationship with Rachel, and that was still controlling. There are far more examples of other characters that are the polar opposite of Ross and use control to exploit others and make others feel bad. It is hard for women AND for men.
It is often difficult for me to put a finger on which one way a person uses control to manipulate others. But because of many things that have happened in my past, I am acutely aware of this controlling nature of people. I judge that it's a protective mechanism in me that I have to constantly monitor. It's as if I have this invisible gauge for each person that registers the rpm's of control. I don't know if this falls under that umbrella of intuition or not, but it has only developed in the last 10 years for me. My meter is, however, especially sensitive if I'm around someone that I've been told is controlling. I have grown in awareness of this control issue in my life because while I was growing up I was completely unaware of how I was allowing myself to be controlled by others. Now in my mid-30's, I feel as though I'm more comfortable setting boundaries with others. But in my youth, adolescence, teenage years, & twenties, it was not that way. I had very few boundaries and prided myself on being open. I also had no respect for others' boundaries and most likely tap-danced and cartwheeled all over them. This is probably why I had very few close friends. If I did that to your boundaries, I am very sorry. Please forgive me.
It takes just a second to hurt someone's feelings. Please know that I'm really just doing a bit of stream-of-consciousness writing here about control. I'm not pointing my fingers at anyone. Especially YOU. In fact, when we point one finger, aren't there three pointing back at us? I am certain that the times when I attmept to control things, it is because I have seen how successful others have been at controlling me, and I want to see if I can work that way. I generally cannot operate successfully. Who wants to be controlled? I am pretty sure I fall in the middle, sometimes control-freak, other times I go with the flow. Sometimes I have a problem with authority...but that's for another blog.
You know, I was recently made aware of a saying... in every group there is a person that requires Extra Grace...and if you can't find that person in your group, then that person is YOU. I'm fairly certain I am/was the person, 9 times out of 10.
I don't want to control my hubby's dreams and goals, I wouldn't want him to do that to me. I hope on our next great date that we are able to discuss goals and dreams that are specific to our marriage and share deeply on that. I enjoyed this special time with my hubby. I look forward to learning more about him and watching our goals and dreams come to fruition.
I feel called to leave you with a scripture verse that is also the signature for my emails, "Consider it all joy" James 1:2. I love this verse so much because it is such a challenge for me. While I am generally an optimistic person, when hardships come my way, I am usually looking at them from the negative side first, then later, after they have been dealt with or fade away, I am reminded that I should've found the joy in them. Sometimes I'm able to say something like "well, at least it's not like ____________" (fill in the blank with something worse than what I have to deal with at the time) which is when I think "hey, I'm finding the joy in it by being thankful that it's not worse!"...but really, I think now that it's just glossing over the challenge and not really picking up that cross that I've been handed and really truly finding the JOY in it. The rest of "Consider it all joy..." is "when you encounter various trials because these tests help build perseverance." This is so true in our lives and should not be ignored. We weren't meant to just coast through life, but to find joy in the hardships, which is counter-cultural (against what the world wants us to believe)! So we should find JOY in the trials. Joy in the hardships. Joy in the pain. Joy in the pain? I challenge you to ponder that.
I believe that what St. James is telling us in this Scripture is that by finding the joy in the trials, hardships, and pain, that the perseverance it produces in us will help us to get through even more hardships that may come our way. None of us are immune to hardships and it seems that as we get older, we encounter more and more of them. I had a dear friend tell me recently not to waste the hardship I was enduring, but to offer it up as often as I could. This helped me to persevere through my pain. Even though I have "Consider it all joy" as my email signature, I still needed an outside reminder to help me to remember what I was telling others applied to me too. I will probably talk about this more. This Scripture is dear to me and has so many layers for my life story...
Peace to you this glorious day!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Adventures in 2011
It has been a very long time since I posted. Honestly, when I started this blog, I had good intentions of writing often. However, I had no way of knowing what these past six months had in store for me.
I have to say, through it all, God is so good. He is my Rock and my Fortress. He protects me when I am weak. Because of Him, I fear no evil. (all from the Bible I just don't know where, don't judge me.)
I started this blog on New Year's Eve and I haven't posted much on it since!
SO...it is time that I let you know the latest Stuckey journey, which is our recent gear switch in our Homeschooling adventures.
About 2 weeks ago, we set off into our 5th year of homeschooling. I mean, really?! Fifth year?! It doesn't seem that it's been that long, and then at times, I look at my children and how they've grown in the last five years and I am so thankful for homeschooling. I look at our homeschool group and friends (that have become like family) and I absolutely cannot imagine my life without them. To think that it was really only 5 years ago when Angel Girl asked if she could be homeschooled...but it was 10 years ago when God started working on my heart.
Preschool for Angel Girl was a dream, but had it's bumps. So when she said to me two days ago, "Mom, this is the best I've liked school since preschool"...I was floored. I'll tell you more too...all throughout our homeschooling journey, to date, she's been asking to go back to preschool. I have to admit, I was starting to take this a little personally. We tried switching curriculum for Math, we tried a more relaxed approach. We tried JUST reading books over the summer. We tried UNschooling for a while. I LOVE UNschooling a little too much! Ha! But my main challenges were still what to do with my little man while I was trying to school the big kids Then a new and very nice friend of mine introduced me to www.time4learning.com . Can I just tell you? I can barely contain myself about how excited I am to see smiles on their faces, NO tears from A.G., and CONFIDENCE from Tractor Boy, my big 7 year old!
I say "time for school" and they get excited! It is positively refreshing. YES, there is still workbook work, but it's only going to be a page per day. Its like eating a giant cookie, you can't eat the whole thing all at once, just one bite at a time. That's what I tell Angel Girl when she gives me sad eyes about doing her workbook work. She doesn't like it because it is the "old school" and now she is really liking the new school.
I am so grateful for www.time4learning.com . It works out to be a little more than $1 per day for both kids to be subscribed. This is money well spent for sanity well saved in my book. I think that we are finished today with our 2 week trial period with them, and we will be continuing onward!
My days are lighter these last few days. I don't feel as oppressed as I did before. I was dreadfully close to giving up entirely on homeschooling. I didn't want their brains to rot. I was telling myself we could just read books for a whole year and (we still might do that) everything would be okay while Mommy got her sanity back. It was difficult for me to understand how other families, larger families, got it all done in one day, on a tight budget, without checking into a looney bin (no offense). I had put myself under tremendous stress and was comparing myself to others too much. Now, it is as if a weight has been lifted. I feel free. So, not only has this helped my kids gain confidence and a bit of structure to their day, Mom is happy. And you know what they say about when Momma's happy!
Disclaimer Alert!
As a member of Time4Learning, I have been asked to review their online education program and share my experiences. While I was compensated, this review was not written or edited by Time4Learning and my opinion is entirely my own. Write your own curriculum review or learn how to use their curriculum for homeschool, after school study or summer learning.
Peace to All of you!
Love MommaClaire
P.S. www.time4learning.com also has great Support for parents, and I know because I've already needed it! :-)
I have to say, through it all, God is so good. He is my Rock and my Fortress. He protects me when I am weak. Because of Him, I fear no evil. (all from the Bible I just don't know where, don't judge me.)
I started this blog on New Year's Eve and I haven't posted much on it since!
SO...it is time that I let you know the latest Stuckey journey, which is our recent gear switch in our Homeschooling adventures.
About 2 weeks ago, we set off into our 5th year of homeschooling. I mean, really?! Fifth year?! It doesn't seem that it's been that long, and then at times, I look at my children and how they've grown in the last five years and I am so thankful for homeschooling. I look at our homeschool group and friends (that have become like family) and I absolutely cannot imagine my life without them. To think that it was really only 5 years ago when Angel Girl asked if she could be homeschooled...but it was 10 years ago when God started working on my heart.
Preschool for Angel Girl was a dream, but had it's bumps. So when she said to me two days ago, "Mom, this is the best I've liked school since preschool"...I was floored. I'll tell you more too...all throughout our homeschooling journey, to date, she's been asking to go back to preschool. I have to admit, I was starting to take this a little personally. We tried switching curriculum for Math, we tried a more relaxed approach. We tried JUST reading books over the summer. We tried UNschooling for a while. I LOVE UNschooling a little too much! Ha! But my main challenges were still what to do with my little man while I was trying to school the big kids Then a new and very nice friend of mine introduced me to www.time4learning.com . Can I just tell you? I can barely contain myself about how excited I am to see smiles on their faces, NO tears from A.G., and CONFIDENCE from Tractor Boy, my big 7 year old!
I say "time for school" and they get excited! It is positively refreshing. YES, there is still workbook work, but it's only going to be a page per day. Its like eating a giant cookie, you can't eat the whole thing all at once, just one bite at a time. That's what I tell Angel Girl when she gives me sad eyes about doing her workbook work. She doesn't like it because it is the "old school" and now she is really liking the new school.
I am so grateful for www.time4learning.com . It works out to be a little more than $1 per day for both kids to be subscribed. This is money well spent for sanity well saved in my book. I think that we are finished today with our 2 week trial period with them, and we will be continuing onward!
My days are lighter these last few days. I don't feel as oppressed as I did before. I was dreadfully close to giving up entirely on homeschooling. I didn't want their brains to rot. I was telling myself we could just read books for a whole year and (we still might do that) everything would be okay while Mommy got her sanity back. It was difficult for me to understand how other families, larger families, got it all done in one day, on a tight budget, without checking into a looney bin (no offense). I had put myself under tremendous stress and was comparing myself to others too much. Now, it is as if a weight has been lifted. I feel free. So, not only has this helped my kids gain confidence and a bit of structure to their day, Mom is happy. And you know what they say about when Momma's happy!
Disclaimer Alert!
As a member of Time4Learning, I have been asked to review their online education program and share my experiences. While I was compensated, this review was not written or edited by Time4Learning and my opinion is entirely my own. Write your own curriculum review or learn how to use their curriculum for homeschool, after school study or summer learning.
Peace to All of you!
Love MommaClaire
P.S. www.time4learning.com also has great Support for parents, and I know because I've already needed it! :-)
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
So much to be thankful for...
Well, I haven't felt obligated to do this (blog) every day, but I have thought about it...does that count?!
Tractor Boy had his 6th set of ear tubes placed earlier in January. That was wonderful. He can hear everything now and he lets us know about it all the time. I am so thankful for modern medicine and that he did not experience a hearing loss this time. His ears were full of fluid but he was not deaf from it.
I am thankful for my family and friends. Danger Man flushed a cloth bib down the toilet some time on his birthday and it got hung up under the house and caused our downstairs toilet to GUSH poo water when the clothes washer upstairs was dumping water. This resulted in our entryway becoming a tiny retention pond. It was 10pm on Danger's 2nd birthday and Dear Hubby was offshore on a boat. Angel Girl was my calming angel telling me, "Don't panic Mom, nothing good can happen when we panic. Just be calm." Then I heard, "Better than a Hallelujah" on the radio and finally understood the true meaning of that song even though its not my favorite song. I got our wet-dry vac out of the garage and started sucking up the poo water. Angel and Danger both fell in the poo water and Angel took care of it both times and hopped back downstairs with her pink cowgirl boots on "ready to help" ! The plumber came was here in 10 minutes and a very dear and now close friend and my amazing Mom came to help mop and sanitize. It might've taken me all night to clean it up if I hadn't had such angelic help. It was a birthday evening that I will never forget!!
Our family has been going non-stop since Halloween. Every weekend since Halloween we have had one weekend after another filled with activities. Most recently it has been birthdays and parties and showers and baptisms. Oh, and we are now GODparents!!! again! It is very exciting and a great honor and blessing to be Godparents of our new neice. We love her so much!!
This weekend we are hosting a sleepover of epic proportions. Most epic in attendance but I'm not afraid. It will be fun, loud, hilarious, but mostly fun. Angel Girl turns NINE and she totally deserves a huge bash with all of her girlfriends. It should be a memorable evening.
Since I posted last, so much has happened. At each happening I think to myself, "I should post this to the blog..." and then something else happens and I forget to post it. But I know that if you're following this, you probably understand where I'm coming from. So I'm not going to make any apologies, I just like to explain why I do things so that I'm not perceived as a flake. But, I cannot control how you perceive me...I can only make vain attempts at it! ;-)
Currently we are in the midst of a "Blue Norther" that has brought with it grisly temperatures in the teens with wind chills in the single digits. Can't remember when it's been this cold in Houston before. People are acting like idiots and it is just not acceptable. This is weather. Deal with it or stay home. But please don't get out on the roads and flip out when the wind blows. That is NOT okay.
I typically enjoy cold weather. But at times like this I am actually thankful for the brutal summers that we endure here, with blistering heat and wicked barely-sufferable humidity so that we do not have to shovel snow in the winters. I want to like snow. I like feeling like a kid on Christmas morning when I see snow. I wouldn't want to hate it or to live in a place where it was an inconvenience or a hassle. The rarity of a Houston snow is what makes snow special. So this makes me thankful for the yucky summers because they are what make the winters here so sweet.
I'm also thankful for electricity and that I'm not a pioneer woman or Amish. Not anything against the Amish, I actually think they have a really great thing going. I'm spoiled. I like warm toasty things when it is cold out and I like cool crisp air blowing in my face when it is 110 degrees out. I like those things. I'm very very thankful for those things.
I am thankful for the bad things that happened in my life because they shaped me into the person I have become today. I am who I am now because of people being horrible to me and me being horrible to others. I am the person I am now because I was broken and had a terrible attitude and hated myself and others and I changed.
People CAN change. I did. I even had friends when I was in that dark place. Most of them probably wouldn't believe who I've become. That's okay. If you're in my life now and you have been for over 15 years, I want to thank you for still being in my life. You have been with me through the dark and yucky me time and you have helped me be who I am today. God never left my side even though I turned my back on Him. I can do all things through Christ Who strenghtens me. His Grace is sufficient for me.
Until next time, peace be with you!
Tractor Boy had his 6th set of ear tubes placed earlier in January. That was wonderful. He can hear everything now and he lets us know about it all the time. I am so thankful for modern medicine and that he did not experience a hearing loss this time. His ears were full of fluid but he was not deaf from it.
I am thankful for my family and friends. Danger Man flushed a cloth bib down the toilet some time on his birthday and it got hung up under the house and caused our downstairs toilet to GUSH poo water when the clothes washer upstairs was dumping water. This resulted in our entryway becoming a tiny retention pond. It was 10pm on Danger's 2nd birthday and Dear Hubby was offshore on a boat. Angel Girl was my calming angel telling me, "Don't panic Mom, nothing good can happen when we panic. Just be calm." Then I heard, "Better than a Hallelujah" on the radio and finally understood the true meaning of that song even though its not my favorite song. I got our wet-dry vac out of the garage and started sucking up the poo water. Angel and Danger both fell in the poo water and Angel took care of it both times and hopped back downstairs with her pink cowgirl boots on "ready to help" ! The plumber came was here in 10 minutes and a very dear and now close friend and my amazing Mom came to help mop and sanitize. It might've taken me all night to clean it up if I hadn't had such angelic help. It was a birthday evening that I will never forget!!
Our family has been going non-stop since Halloween. Every weekend since Halloween we have had one weekend after another filled with activities. Most recently it has been birthdays and parties and showers and baptisms. Oh, and we are now GODparents!!! again! It is very exciting and a great honor and blessing to be Godparents of our new neice. We love her so much!!
This weekend we are hosting a sleepover of epic proportions. Most epic in attendance but I'm not afraid. It will be fun, loud, hilarious, but mostly fun. Angel Girl turns NINE and she totally deserves a huge bash with all of her girlfriends. It should be a memorable evening.
Since I posted last, so much has happened. At each happening I think to myself, "I should post this to the blog..." and then something else happens and I forget to post it. But I know that if you're following this, you probably understand where I'm coming from. So I'm not going to make any apologies, I just like to explain why I do things so that I'm not perceived as a flake. But, I cannot control how you perceive me...I can only make vain attempts at it! ;-)
Currently we are in the midst of a "Blue Norther" that has brought with it grisly temperatures in the teens with wind chills in the single digits. Can't remember when it's been this cold in Houston before. People are acting like idiots and it is just not acceptable. This is weather. Deal with it or stay home. But please don't get out on the roads and flip out when the wind blows. That is NOT okay.
I typically enjoy cold weather. But at times like this I am actually thankful for the brutal summers that we endure here, with blistering heat and wicked barely-sufferable humidity so that we do not have to shovel snow in the winters. I want to like snow. I like feeling like a kid on Christmas morning when I see snow. I wouldn't want to hate it or to live in a place where it was an inconvenience or a hassle. The rarity of a Houston snow is what makes snow special. So this makes me thankful for the yucky summers because they are what make the winters here so sweet.
I'm also thankful for electricity and that I'm not a pioneer woman or Amish. Not anything against the Amish, I actually think they have a really great thing going. I'm spoiled. I like warm toasty things when it is cold out and I like cool crisp air blowing in my face when it is 110 degrees out. I like those things. I'm very very thankful for those things.
I am thankful for the bad things that happened in my life because they shaped me into the person I have become today. I am who I am now because of people being horrible to me and me being horrible to others. I am the person I am now because I was broken and had a terrible attitude and hated myself and others and I changed.
People CAN change. I did. I even had friends when I was in that dark place. Most of them probably wouldn't believe who I've become. That's okay. If you're in my life now and you have been for over 15 years, I want to thank you for still being in my life. You have been with me through the dark and yucky me time and you have helped me be who I am today. God never left my side even though I turned my back on Him. I can do all things through Christ Who strenghtens me. His Grace is sufficient for me.
Until next time, peace be with you!
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